so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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