i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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