Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
