OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
...so i touched it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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