You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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