Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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