you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
