His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize