I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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