So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
