im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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