Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
