You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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