Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
