The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
