people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
