He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
