ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
