it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
