I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
