i may or may not be watching the land before time
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
