this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
