Cold hands, warm shart.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
