You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
