U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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