Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
