Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
