I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This baby is an asshole
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
