I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize