You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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