Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
