Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We just shotgunned beers for America
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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