I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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