It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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