he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
