I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How does one acquire holy water?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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