you would pick up someone in the library
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
