We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
