so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
