Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
