What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
