So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize