just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
