I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
