Porn is love you can see.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
