when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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