So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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