please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
