haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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