He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
