Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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