very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
