stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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