I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
