WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
