so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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