so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
