I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
