Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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