just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
