hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
