It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
