i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
