Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
